​Social Media – How can we help our children learn boundaries?

Social Media – How can we help our children learn boundaries?

Over the years our society has put “boundaries” in place for addictive habits like smoking in public places or drinking excessively. With the wide use of social media by young people we should also consider boundaries for its use.

There are things as parents we can do to start conversations on social media with our children at home. What if we talked about what society has learned about addictions in other areas, then established “boundaries” for social media to ensure they remain on the road, without veering off a cliff and damaging their lives?

Here are five suggestions for a “boundary” discussion with your family, and perhaps to apply to our own lives as well:

1. Establish clear boundaries.

Why not construct mutual boundaries that both adults and students must maintain? It could be a boundary on hours spent on social media or where it’s okay to use it. Just like we have restrictions on smoking in public places. Perhaps no devices from 5:00pm in the evening so the family talks and listens to each other.

2. Think substitutes.

Why not create a list of things that could be used as a substitute for social media? Smokers often chew gum—why not substitute reading or board games for Instagram or Facebook? It will require creativity but it is the best way to beat a habit. It will also require an investment by us as parents to spend “real” time with our children.

3. Teach moderation.

When young people reach adulthood, they are allowed to legally drink. So we often say: “There’s nothing wrong with alcohol. The problem’s too much alcohol.” What if we established a limit on hours or locations for social media, along with what is good use of social media?

4. Equip them for face-to-face relationships.

Addictive habits can diminish essential skills we need. Dependence on one muscle can cause others to waste away. What if we spent time on intentional training for interpersonal skills and emotional intelligence for our children on social media? At family gatherings and events have device free time and model good social communication and interaction.

5. Enable them to discover purpose.

Finally, the best way to overcome a bad habit is to acquire a strong sense of purpose. This diminishes the need for constant affirmation on everything we do. “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” (Proverbs 20:5). Each of us is born with a purpose and calling that we can discover or miss. When we seek God’s purpose we find courage and peace and the strength to not go on an emotional roller coaster. Social media can cause students to experience the best day or the worst day, depending on the message on their phone. We must lead them out of this emotional roller coaster and into emotional stability. Knowing God has a purpose for each of us, we can rely on him to give us the strength to be ourselves without the need for the ”likes” from those on social media.

This is a challenge that each family faces and we need to work collectively to educate the next generation on how to use technology to improve our society rather than to have it control us.

Dirk van Bruggen
Head of Senior Learning Community